i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
