Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
