I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
