Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That was an excessively violent trivia night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
