forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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