Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So apparently I’m into choking now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
