If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
