The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
