Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
