So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
