spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
