dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
