xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
