Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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