Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
