he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
