Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
