My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
