her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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