Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
In America we eat man semen.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize