it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize