I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
