walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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