I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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