My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
