Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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