does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
