Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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