She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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