piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
