my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
