who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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