he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
