: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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