barbara walters just said penis...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
