Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize