Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize