some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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