Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
