Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
