I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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