I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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