both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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