I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
