he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
