batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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