Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
