I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
