Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize