he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
