the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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