I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize