We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
