you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
