I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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