she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
