That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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