I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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