i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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