She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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