Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
