Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
