why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
