You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
